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Reading children’s books as an adult

April 19, 2019 Teresa Tomaz

Everyday healthy children come to my office with their parents for routine appointments. I ask many questions during these visits: do they eat fruits and vegetables? How many hours are they sleeping? Do they exercise or have a hobby? Do they brush their teeth regularly? Before entering my office, I often see them playing with their phones, and many keep using them while I ask these questions. Their eyes reflect the screen light, a pale blue color which resembles a distant dying star. Then I eventually ask: do they enjoy reading books? Many parents answer that they enjoyed them when they were very young, especially picture books filled with colorful images but, as time passed by, they stopped reading them and instead started playing mobile videogames. When I ask if they like children books, their parents often reply: “They are too old for that. They don’t read them anymore.”

There was also a time in my life when I stopped reading children’s books. One day, back when I was nine or ten years old, I was reading my then favorite book (a children’s book with some old fairy tales and watercolor illustrations) when my father interrupted me and grabbed my book. He looked at it, closed it and said I was too grown up to keep reading those childish books. He took me to his office, whose walls were lined with bookshelves. He pointed at them and said: “You’ll now learn from these books. They will teach you valuable lessons and help you grow up. It is time to stop reading those childish books; you have to grow up and learn something from the classics.” After that, I chose a book written by a Portuguese author called “Os Maias”. That moment marked the end of my “children’s books era”. Except for one or two series (such as “Harry Potter” and “His Dark Materials”), I stopped reading children’s books and instead started to read “adult” ones. 

I kept this habit until a few years ago, when I visited for the first time a small bookstore. The rooms were tight, and their book selection was not huge. The children’s section, however, was lovely. The place was empty, but there were many books piled up everywhere, most of them old ones. I picked one that caught my attention: A. A. Milne’s “Winnie-the-Pooh”. Up until then, I had only known Disney’s version of Winnie the Pooh, which didn’t appeal particularly to me. Shepard’s drawings, however, were so beautiful that I started reading the book right there, while standing up almost perfectly still. And that was the moment that changed my whole view of children’s books.

We know children’s books are important, as they represent a child’s first steps into literature. Reading and interpreting stories is a basic and crucial aspect of literacy and education, as they stimulate children’s attention and imagination. But is it important for adults to read children’s books? In a world full of interesting and compelling books, why waste time reading children’s books? What can we possibly learn from them, when there are so many non-fiction books addressing almost every important topic?

One of children’s literature most underrated benefits is forcing the reader to reflect upon themes that would otherwise first require a complex literature analysis. Despite their apparent simplicity to an adult, children’s books are actually an invitation for readers to imagine themselves as the characters living an adventure. Certain themes like friendship, love or kindness are more easily assimilated as a story, rather than as abstract concepts plastered over a dozen technical books.

 Take friendship as an example: as adults, we often struggle to keep our friendships. Our calendar is just too busy, full of appointments, meetings, family duties and so on. Sometimes, we simply don’t have time to make a phone call to that friend we haven’t talked with in ages. We wonder how they are, what they have been doing – but then our boss sends us an urgent email and we postpone that phone call. Some children’s books kindly remind us it’s OK to let go someone we love, if that’s what’s best for them (even if that makes us sad or nostalgic). But they also remind us how important it is to keep our friendships alive, to nurture them and being there to listen to our loved ones when they need us, as “Winnie-the-Pooh” wisely does:

“You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”

 “Winnie-the-Pooh” is a wonderful book about friendship and kindness. It also helps us to understand that just being with someone is as important as doing something with them. We live in a world where there’s a constant pressure to just do something: people share on their social media accounts photos from their parties, hangouts with friends, trips and concerts. In those pictures, people are often gathered to do something. “Winnie-the-Pooh” helped me to remember it is a precious thing just being with someone we care about and love. 

“What I like doing best is Nothing."

"How do you do Nothing," asked Pooh after he had wondered for a long time.

"Well, it's when people call out at you just as you're going off to do it, 'What are you going to do, Christopher Robin?' and you say, 'Oh, Nothing,' and then you go and do it.

It means just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering."

"Oh!" said Pooh.” 

― Winnie-the-Pooh, A.A. Milne

On the other hand, “The Lion and the Bird” is a small, but beautiful book which reminded me of the power of friendship and the importance of letting go. It tells us a story about a lion who finds a wounded bird. He takes care of him, and eventually a beautiful friendship arises between them. When the spring comes, the bird is ready to join his friends. The lion is sad because of his friend’s departure but he is also happy. Letting his friend go was the largest sign of true friendship and love he could ever give him. This reminded me how important it is to be empathetic to others, to understand their needs and to do some personal sacrifices if that means something to them. Sometimes it is hard to be alone, especially when we love someone, but this book helped me remember that our loneliness can be minimized if we remember that our loved ones will be better that way.

 Another wonderful gift of children’s books is the way they seemingly change as one grows ups. Rereading a book, however, is a dying habit that results from our compulsive need to read many books in place of pursuing those that really make an impact on our lives. Reading challenges, recent and seemingly exciting new authors and lists of the “500 greatest movies of our time that you have to watch before you die” have been preventing us from rereading books, particularly those from our childhood. As we age and (hopefully) develop some emotional maturity, we slowly realize the greatness that lies in the simple words from those books: a simple-looking message suddenly acquires another dimension, one that might even overshadow most of what’s written in a best-sellers bookshelf. 

 “The Little Prince” constitutes a remarkable example. Although I immediately loved this wonderful story when I first read it, it was only after reading it several times that I began to understand its magnificence as a children’s book. Reading “The Wind, the Sand and the Stars” by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry was obviously helpful, as it made me understand what the writer and pilot went through and how he managed to translate his feelings and memories into this lovely and apparently simple story. But “The Little Prince” is much more than a bunch of cute merchandising; it has many important metaphors that an adult needs to analyze in order to fully understand them. It helps us understand that there are many important things in our lives, more important than the daily tasks that often tear us apart and test our nerves. The most important thing is to be kind, to care for people we love and be able to keep the sense of wonder that was present in our younger selves.

 I also learned a lot when I read “The Secret Garden” for the first time, a couple of months ago. I remember I was sitting in a café, drinking a cup of coffee while waiting for my train to arrive. The night was cold and it was raining outside. I was enjoying the story when I read this passage:

 “One of the strange things about living in the world is that it is only now and then one is quite sure one is going to live forever and ever and ever. One knows it sometimes when one gets up at the tender solemn dawn-time and goes out and stands out and throws one's head far back and looks up and up and watches the pale sky slowly changing and flushing and marvelous unknown things happening until the East almost makes one cry out and one's heart stands still at the strange unchanging majesty of the rising of the sun--which has been happening every morning for thousands and thousands and thousands of years. One knows it then for a moment or so. And one knows it sometimes when one stands by oneself in a wood at sunset and the mysterious deep gold stillness slanting through and under the branches seems to be saying slowly again and again something one cannot quite hear, however much one tries. Then sometimes the immense quiet of the dark blue at night with the millions of stars waiting and watching makes one sure; and sometimes a sound of far-off music makes it true; and sometimes a look in someone's eyes.” 
― The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett

I could never have understood this beautiful and strong passage if I had read it when I was younger; or maybe I could, but it resonated so much more now. For a few moments, I was there, watching the birds sing, the green grass and beautiful flowers around me. The sound of people entering the café and the rain pouring outside while cars and buses ran down the street disappeared. I suddenly remembered my younger self walking in my favorite childhood park, thinking of me as an eternal being. I always knew I would not live for eternity, but I wanted to be eternal.

And that is the true beauty of children’s books. They might seem too simplistic. But sometimes we need simplicity in our lives to remind us of the importance of some themes we often forget in this busy and all too often technological world.

 Because you are never too old for reading children’s books.

 

Tags children's books, reading
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On returning home and the sense of nostalgia

March 15, 2019 Teresa Tomaz

Returning home is a common subject in literature, especially in fantasy or epic genres. These stories are often compelling and exciting. We love to read about the wonderful landscapes these characters encounter along their way, the magnificent creatures and the great thrills they must surpass. We long for the excitement of a great adventure. At the end, these characters may succeed returning to their homes. The premise often involves a main character who goes on an adventure - by his choice or not - and, along the journey, feels a strong desire of returning home. In “The Lord of the Rings”, Frodo and the other hobbits long for their beloved Shire. In Homer’s “Odyssey”, Odysseus (or Ulysses) struggles to get home.

But what does one expect when returning home? Why is there such a need to return to our places? We may say it can be because of the people we love live there. Or perhaps because everything we possess is there: our belongings, our small treasures, our memories. Or maybe it is because we know we have changed so much that we feel we need to come back to that small piece of ourselves we lost along the way. And how do we call this feeling exactly?

Milan Kundera tried to explain this in his book “Ignorance”:

“The Greek word for "return" is nostos. Algos means "suffering." So nostalgia is the suffering caused by an unappeased yearning to return. To express that fundamental notion most Europeans can utilize a word derived from the Greek (nostalgia, nostalgie) as well as other words with roots in their national languages: añoranza, say the Spaniards; saudade, say the Portuguese. In each language these words have a different semantic nuance. Often they mean only the sadness caused by the impossibility of returning to one's country: a longing for country, for home. What in English is called "homesickness." Or in German: Heimweh. In Dutch: heimwee. But this reduces that great notion to just its spatial element. One of the oldest European languages, Icelandic (like English) makes a distinction between two terms: söknuour: nostalgia in its general sense; and heimprá: longing for the homeland.”
― Ignorance, Milan Kundera

 I grew up in a small city. As many cities in the interior of my country, it was a quiet place, surrounded by mountains and crossed by a river. There weren’t many big stores, theaters or shopping malls. There was no university there, so everyone who wished to continue their studies had to move by the time they were eighteen years old. I always knew that day would come, so I accepted that easily. Many people of my age were eager to leave; after all, my hometown was too small, too “slow paced” for a teenager who wished to travel around the world and see and experience new things. I chose to study in Lisbon, the vibrant capital and its sunny weather, so different from the cold and misty winters I had spent in my hometown.

My hometown

My hometown

I would often walk through the crowded streets and admire the small bookstores, the beautiful golden light spreading through the Tejo river. I spent a lot of time taking pictures; in fact, many of my favorite pictures were taken there. Whenever I had the chance, I would explore flea markets, listen to new music or take a walk in one of my favorite gardens. But sometimes, amongst the warm and soft breeze, a feeling would surprise me. I have this memory of leaving a bus and being hit by that breeze. I remember smelling something smoky, turning around and watching the big blue sky, the white clouds and the sun setting down on the backdrop of the tall city buildings. It was the smell of my hometown. My eyes were seeing the same sky I saw there. I pictured myself there.

At that time, it all made sense. I had just found a piece of me I had forgotten. It was buried underneath all the daily chores, classes and exams. As this amazing song (Welcome Home, Son) by Radical Face states:

“Ships are launching from my chest / Some have names but most do not / If you find one, please let me know what piece I've lost

Peel the scars from off my back / I don't need them anymore / You can throw them out or keep them in your mason jars / I've come home”

 I have read some important books about returning home. Some of them, like Kundera’s “Ignorance” which deals with emigration and the impossibility of coming back home, are of undeniable importance, but for now, I’d like to focus on a particular book which I’ve valued over the last few years.

The Portuguese edition of “The Window in the Willows”, by Kenneth Grahame

The Portuguese edition of “The Window in the Willows”, by Kenneth Grahame

When we are younger, the “returning home” theme may not mean much for us. We long for adventures, excitement and traveling. Maybe this is one of the reasons why this subject may not be evident for those who first read “The Wind in the Willows”, by Kenneth Grahame. This is a lovely and classic children’s novel which I had the pleasure of reading a couple years ago. I really enjoyed reading the tales of Ratty, Mole, Toad, and Badger but a passage in particular stands out as important to me. Mole and Rat were returning from a winter walk when Mole suddenly caught the scent of his old home on the air:

“It was one of these mysterious fairy calls from out the void that suddenly reached Mole in the darkness, making him tingle through and through with its very familiar appeal, even while yet he could not clearly remember what it was. He stopped dead in his tracks, his nose searching hither and thither in its efforts to recapture the fine filament, the telegraphic current, that had so strongly moved him. A moment, and he had caught it again; and with it this time came recollection in fullest flood.”
― The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame

 Mole felt a strong desire to see his home again. When I read this passage, I pictured myself as this character; I saw myself freezing still in those noisy streets, my body responding to a memory I thought lost. 

“Home! That was what they meant, those caressing appeals, those soft touches wafted through the air, those invisible little hands pulling and tugging, all one way! Why, it must be quite close by him at that moment, his old home that he had hurriedly forsaken and never sought again, that day when he first found the River! And now it was sending out its scouts and its messengers to capture him and bring him in. Since his escape on that bright morning he had hardly given it a thought, so absorbed had he been in his new life, in all its pleasures, its surprises, its fresh and captivating experiences. Now, with a rush of old memories, how clearly it stood up before him, in the darkness! Shabby indeed, and small and poorly furnished, and yet his, the home he had made for himself, the home he had been so happy to get back to after his day's work. And the home had been happy with him, too, evidently, and was missing him, and wanted him back, and was telling him so, through his nose, sorrowfully, reproachfully, but with no bitterness or anger; only with plaintive reminder that it was there, and wanted him.”
― The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame

foto2home.jpg

 After reading this paragraph, I felt tears rolling down my face. As a soft stream of a river during spring, I felt I had finally found the words I had been longing for so many years. In addition to missing a place where I grew up, I realized I also missed a part of me. The hopeful me, the ingenuous me. A part of me who loved to wander in the streets with a feeling of permanent fascination by everything. I remembered how I spent hours in my favorite garden looking at the trees, capturing sights that would stay in my mind and that I’d transform years later in photographs. I remembered the scent of fresh bread in my grandparent’s house, the way the sunlight would start flooding the old dining room in the wee hours of the morning. I remembered the shape of the clouds rolling over the mountains, the conversations and plans set in my teenager years and the frustrations that taught me the meaning of grit. I remembered the unending rainy months that felt like a battle for the sun’s blessing. I remembered the first time I felt the smell of petrichor coming from my backyard, so intense that I thought it would never leave my skin.

 “Poor Mole found it difficult to get any words out between the upheavals of his chest that followed one upon another so quickly and held back speech and choked it as it came. "I know it's a—shabby, dingy little place," he sobbed forth at last brokenly: "not like—your cosy quarters—or Toad's beautiful hall—or Badger's great house—but it was my own little home—and I was fond of it—and I went away and forgot all about it—and then I smelt it suddenly—on the road, when I called and you wouldn't listen, Rat—and everything came back to me with a rush—and I wantedit!—O dear, O dear!—and when you wouldn'tturn back, Ratty—and I had to leave it, though I was smelling it all the time—I thought my heart would break.—We might have just gone and had one look at it, Ratty—only one look—it was close by—but you wouldn't turn back, Ratty, you wouldn't turn back! O dear, O dear!”
― The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame

 I think the greatness of these stories is that they show us some important things for us, humans. We may love the excitement of something new. Everything we encounter on our way helps us to build our characters; this is the reason why Frodo could never be the same when he returned to the Shire. I often picture myself - my life - as a book, whose pages I tear up and then set free in their one place in time. Coming back home means finding some of those pages spread in the corners of remembrance and realizing a part of me is immutable. They remind me that I should not forget the one I was, the one I’m not anymore, the one that survives inside me.

It’s not a matter of not allowing oneself to change or abandoning who you once were – it’s the courage to rediscover ourselves at every instant. Because you can’t abandon something that helped you becoming who you are, even if they are just memories.

 At least I can’t.

“He saw clearly how plain and simple—how narrow, even—it all was; but clearly, too, how much it all meant to him, and the special value of some such anchorage in one's existence. He did not at all want to abandon the new life and its splendid spaces, to turn his back on sun and air and all they offered him and creep home and stay there; the upper world was all too strong, it called to him still, even down there, and he knew he must return to the larger stage. But it was good to think he had this to come back to, this place which was all his own, these things which were so glad to see him again and could always be counted upon for the same simple welcome.”
― The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame

Tags home, nostalgia, children's books, the wind in the willows, memories
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